


Fears, Tears and Comfort

by Mingyou17



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crying, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, fluff for the cult, post-disbandment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-04-27 12:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14425068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mingyou17/pseuds/Mingyou17
Summary: Seongwoo's mission was to never see Minhyun cry again.





	Fears, Tears and Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> "#16: Canon – It broke Seongwoo’s heart when he saw Minhyun cry at the Produce 101 finale and he promised himself he’d never left the precious man cry again. But he never thought he’d be the one who would make Minhyun cry so much for the 3rd time in his life"

                                                                                                                        **Resolution**

Seongwoo and Minhyun’s relationship had always been defined by their mutual affection for each other and how comfortable they were around one another. During the early stages of Produce 101, even the legendary Justice League was a little bit awkward with one another, despite their superior team dynamic. However, Seongwoo got the benefit of being the same age as Minhyun, an automatic free pass past the awkwardness and complexities of age dynamics. It was then that Seongwoo truly began to understand the man that is Hwang Minhyun.

Seongwoo was the only trainee from his company, he didn’t have the luxury of already having someone to rely on in the competition, so it was only natural that he’d be guarded, perhaps a little calculated and distant. Maybe it was because Seongwoo was himself, but Minhyun was so blatantly shielded in Seongwoo’s eyes, unbearably so, and with the ranking differences he’d truly been unable to figure him out. However, after spending time with Minhyun, it didn’t take long for Minhyun’s guards to notably drop. Behind his cold exterior, he was clingy and chatty and dorky and Seongwoo felt like he had learnt more about a single person in the four hours they spent locked in a practice room at two in the morning than he’d ever known about anyone else before. Quickly, the words in Seongwoo’s mind that described Minhyun evolved from that of aloofness and competition into those which can only be described as soft: Minhyun was handsome, Minhyun sings well, Minhyun’s affectionate, Minhyun is cute… It also didn’t take long for those words to start taking up more and more space in his head as Minhyun became a fixed focus in his life.

By the final, their relationship was ambiguous to say the least. Seongwoo knew that the affections he harboured towards Minhyun were not strictly platonic however he’d certainly not had the time or energy to figure out what to do with that knowledge. Nor did he need the additional emotional and mental stress of interpreting Minhyun’s own intentions when he wrapped an arm around Seongwoo’s waist or stood a little bit too close. Yet, as Seongwoo glanced to his side and noticed Minhyun crying openly as those around him were filled with joy, Seongwoo was struck by the fact that he didn’t have Minhyun completely figured out yet and that perhaps the Minhyun he envisioned in his mind wasn’t truly the reality. The Minhyun he knew kept personal feelings and work as separate as was possible for an idol. The other Pledis trainees had cried during the course of the competition, even the ones seemingly less likely, but not Minhyun, at least as far as Seongwoo knew. And yet here he was, on the stage as one of the eleven members of the newest idol group, sobbing publicly. Seongwoo liked to pride himself on thinking that he almost always knew what to do, but in this situation, he was dumbfounded and avoided approaching his now group member. The only conclusion that he could draw from the situation is that he never ever wanted to see Minhyun’s face obscured by tears, the way he tried to blink back tears slowly, the way his face crumpled and the hopeless way he tried to dab away his flowing tears again. This was a resolution that Seongwoo intended to stick to in their time together, regardless of the status of their relationship.

 

                                                                                                                          **1**

Even as quickly as when the boys, now Wanna One, began settling into their new dorm, Seongwoo developed an acute awareness of Minhyun’s mood. He could somehow break through Minhyun’s calm and reassuring bravado to see that he was panicking or sad or uncomfortable. As Seongwoo stood beside Minhyun as co-MC announcing Wanna One as that week’s music show winner, it was very clear to Seongwoo that Minhyun wasn’t quite with them. Truthfully, Seongwoo had been surprised by how well Minhyun had settled into their group dynamic as if he had no other team to miss or compare them to, especially with how he reacted when he was announced to become a member. But as the N’UEST W members descended down the steps off the stage leaving Wanna One’s Minhyun to celebrate, Seongwoo could tell that the self-inflicted sense of betrayal was hitting the man all over again.

And so, Seongwoo did all he could to comfort him in small ways, hoping to prevent any tears that night. He squeezed Minhyun’s hand in passing on their way backstage to post-win interviews, he patted his waist once they finished changing, he placed an arm around his shoulders as they headed towards the vans, he rested his hand on Minhyun’s knee as they rode home. Small tactile gestures of comfort Seongwoo thought Minhyun was likely to appreciate and respond to. However, the frown on the man’s face was unmistakable, a far cry from the joyous energy emitted from the winners. Words were clearly needed.

Upon entering their dorm, Seongwoo gently clasped Minhyun’s right hand and guided him towards Seongwoo’s room, its other inhabitants having gauged the situation following a glance at Minhyun’s expression, as well as a frantic stare from Seongwoo and a head gesture which essentially said ‘stay out’. Minhyun was looking downwards, unaware of the silent communication occurring around him, and just followed Seongwoo obediently and the level of trust that was implied in such a gesture made Seongwoo feel impossibly more fond.

Immediately after entering his bedroom and shutting the door, Seongwoo pulled Minhyun in front of him, softly cupping the taller man’s face with both hands to get him to look at him.

“You’ve worked hard, Minhyun. They wanted this for you and they’ll get there soon, I know it and so do you.” As much as Seongwoo was intentionally trying to comfort Minhyun, his sincerity could not be doubted. All the members of Wanna One wanted Minhyun’s original group to be successful, from both knowing the members and from the passing remarks Minhyun dropped casually about company neglect and mistreatment that left the others floored and scared about their own futures dealing with their less than stellar companies. Seongwoo’s incentive however, was that he wanted Minhyun to be happy and success, although not always the key to happiness, could only help.

“Thank you, Seongwoo… Really, thank you.” Seongwoo could see Minhyun visibly deflate, the tightness in his neck beginning to loosen and shoulders untense. Minhyun was a self-assured person but Seongwoo had learnt that there were certain things that Minhyun had to hear to believe, he needed reminding sometimes. Seongwoo was more than willing to provide that reassurance.

“Are you feeling better, first-place idol Hwang Minhyun?” Seongwoo smiled softly at the older man, ruffling his hair slightly after noting that any indication of incoming tears had faded away and that he seemed brighter overall than he had minutes ago. Regardless, Seongwoo was careful, aware of how uncomfortable Minhyun felt being labelled as solely either group’s member as he felt a sense of belonging in both.

“I think I like the sound of that.” The room filled with the soft laughter of the older man and Seongwoo knew his mission to avert tears that evening was complete.

 

                                                                                                                      **2**

Minhyun’s overall disposition was optimistic, he wasn’t prone to dwelling on negative things and so Seongwoo couldn’t have picked an easier person to make such a resolution about as he was able to go months without even thinking about it. The next time Seongwoo had caught Minhyun near to tears was when he got ill during Boomerang promotions. Seongwoo could tell as soon as he clocked Minhyun during the early hours of the morning when their day of work began that he wasn’t on top form. However, during the start of promotions it was nearly impossible for any of them to be due to their vigorous exertion of energy, dieting and lack of sleep and so Seongwoo didn’t equate it to anything more serious.

As the day wore on, none of the members could ignore how pained and uncomfortable Minhyun appeared however despite Jisung informing the managers, everyone was aware that Minhyun would not be allowed to miss any major schedules, and unfortunately most of their schedules were deemed important enough to risk the health and wellbeing of the idols involved. Minhyun was usually a bit more awkward and quiet during formal recorded broadcasts however, during the Knowing Brother’s recording, Minhyun was visibly withdrawn. He winced during the physically strenuous aspects and was encouraged to hang back and was overall unable to present any of his charms to the public. Of course, as Minhyun was one of the more popular members this certainly wouldn’t be detrimental to his image however Seongwoo always wanted the public to see the real Minhyun, the Minhyun that he loved.

After the recording ended, Minhyun was quickly whisked off to hospital, where he was treated as far as possible and was given strict instructions to rest. Of course, this was dismissed immediately by management and Minhyun was promptly deposited at the filming location for their dance practice. Seongwoo turned around as soon as the door opened, expecting Minhyun’s arrival. Unfortunately, he didn’t look any less uncomfortable and he seemed even paler than he had earlier. He was clearly in no fit state to dance and play around but both of them knew they had no choice. And so, the stylists got to work on Minhyun, finishing with enough time for them to go through anything with each other before filming if necessarily.

As a few of the members ran through the choreography, Daniel was forcing in a quick nap due to his ridiculous sleep deprivation and Minhyun slumped in his chair, wincing.

“Do you think you can last the recording?” Seongwoo crouched down on the floor in front of the ill man so that he could be near to eye level with him. In reality, Seongwoo knew it was a futile question. Provided Minhyun didn’t pass out during the filming (even then Seongwoo wasn’t sure if they’d just let them rest until he came around before filming again) the older man was going to have to manage anyway.

“I’m not sure.” Minhyun said. He looked pretty devastated and Seongwoo noticed with a rising feeling of dread that his eyes were beginning to look wet with not-yet shed tears. He had to act quickly.

“Don’t exert yourself. I’m proud of you.” Seongwoo gathered Minhyun in his arms and pulled him into a hug, patting his hair gently, knowing that Minhyun appreciated physical gestures probably more than any of the other members. They stood like this for a minute or so, Seongwoo making a point to ignore any of the passing glances the members made at the two in order to avoid any embarrassment and to focus all his efforts on cheering up Minhyun. When Seongwoo pulled back, any hint of tears had been drawn back and Seongwoo was mesmerised with Minhyun’s continuous ability to dismiss negativity and sadness and move on with life.

Minhyun’s performance during the dance practice couldn’t compare to his usual level of energy and enthusiasm but Seongwoo was proud of how Minhyun conducted himself with professionalism as usual. He made a point as they were heading back towards the car, glad to put such a tiring day behind them, to tell Minhyun that he had done well, noting the visual effect the compliment had on Minhyun’s demeaner. With all the little things Minhyun did for him daily without even giving it a second thought, Seongwoo was pleased that he was able to alter Minhyun’s day positively even slightly.

                                                                                                                          **3**

The day of Wanna One’s disbandment was an ever-impending countdown for the members. Even from the moment of their formation there was a little voice in the back of all of their minds reminding them that their time together was limited. Initially, there were a few members that tried to maintain a little bit of distance, hoping that in restricting how attached they were it would be easier in a year and a half’s time. However, the pressures of being a team quickly dissolved this hesitance and the looming date made them only cling tighter to each other.

Whenever Seongwoo thought about it he was filled with a crushing anxiety about his uncertain future. He had a feeling that Fantagio would push him back into acting, which was a blessing and a curse in his mind. He doubted he had the skills to be a solo singer and he couldn’t imagine being in a group again. However, he was so used to having a team to rely on he wasn’t sure how he could go back to living alone and working without a little support unit.

Minhyun had been optimistic about the whole scenario. He had repeatedly expressed to the members that it was going to be harder for all of them and it was unlikely that all of them, if any, would experience the same level of popularity as Wanna One had, however he was confidence that everyone would do well in their own respect. A tiny part of Seongwoo was a little bit resentful of Minhyun’s ability to be so confident as he was aware that Minhyun’s path was very well paved and NU’EST were only bound to succeed even more upon his return. Another part of Seongwoo was jealous of the bond Minhyun had with his original members and of the fact that they would be able to be around the chatty, clingy man when Seongwoo couldn’t be.

During move-out day, Minhyun had quite clearly been distracting himself from his own feelings by comforting the younger members and a border-line hysterical Jisung, assuring everyone that he would spam the groupchat to make sure that they all preserve it. As they walked each member to their company cars, helping to carry their belongings, everyone was hyperaware that as of that moment they’d be returning to their companies as trainees and that nothing was certain. It was probably Minhyun’s selflessness and his desire to ensure the wellbeing of the other members that meant that he was the final member left alone with Seongwoo. As much as Seongwoo wished he had such noble motives, but the reality was that he’d spent the entirety of the night before carefully sorting seal plushies into boxes as opposed to actually packing and thus he’d needed the extra time to get himself sorted.

Once realising they were the only ones left, Minhyun had took it upon himself to help Seongwoo pack, evidently in no rush to return to Pledis. It was only when Seongwoo had shouted “it’s over!” once stuffing the final few things into his suitcase did he notice Minhyun’s tear-glazed eyes and wavering lip.

“Hey mister optimism, what do you think you’re doing? You’re going to be fine, you’re going to shine.” Seongwoo said, ruffling Minhyun’s hair. Seongwoo had been feeling pretty emotionally fragile himself throughout the last week, never mind just that day, and he knew that if Minhyun cried he definitely would and that would make the whole experience a lot harder so averting this crisis was necessary.

“I don’t care about success. I just… I don’t want to have to miss you.”

There it was- the punch in the stomach Seongwoo didn’t need, his heart clenched, and he physically ached. Minhyun was Seongwoo’s comfort but in all honesty, he hadn’t really ever needed it inside this bubble of Wanna One. However, now that bubble had popped he was pretty certain that he’d need Minhyun now. That wasn’t an option he had to take though. However, Seongwoo’s breakdown was one he’d reserve until that evening where he’d gather up blankets around him and scroll through pictures, stupid random pictures, from the last two years and cry bitterly about the removal of the ten people he’d learnt to love and rely on from his day to day life. The company had tried so hard to emphasise the importance of living harmoniously with each other but Seongwoo wishes they’d taught them how to begin to live without each other because he wasn’t sure how to anymore.

“Easy- then don’t. You have to lose someone a little bit for you to miss them. So don’t let yourself miss me. Just call me, visit me, whatever. Besides, who said I was going to let you get away so easily. I’m going to bother you so much you’re going to wish you could miss me.” Truthfully, Seongwoo knew from the texts from Jonghyun to Jisung during their promotional period inquiring about Minhyun’s health as he hadn’t been able to contact him that it was difficult to maintain relationships when work piled up.

“I don’t think that’s possible.” Minhyun was smiling now, the tears still present in his eyes but the threat of them falling seemed eradicated to Seongwoo’s relief.

“That sounds like a challenge. And when it comes to you, Hwang Minhyun, I always accept.” They were both smiling now, as Seongwoo interlaced their fingers and brought Minhyun’s hand up to his lips to place a quick kiss upon in it in gesture that seemed to say that their careers and their future were unpredictable but what happened between them was entirely up to them. Somehow, that reassurance was all Seongwoo needed to keep going.

 

                                                                                                                        **Failed**

After Wanna One’s disbandment Seongwoo learnt that very little of the time he had spent with Minhyun could be considered to have been during their free time. Aside from odd trips out, almost all of his time with the older man was crammed in and between schedules and consisting of what was convenient at the time. Thus, as Minhyun began promoting as part of NU’EST again, having more schedules in a day than the group had previously had in an entire promotion period, and as Seongwoo took on acting schedules for weeks on end, their ability to see each other diminished quickly.

Minhyun continued to live the lifestyle he’s lived in Wanna One, awake at ridiculously early hours, practicing, being styled, performing, fanmeets, broadcasts. Immediately after returning to NU’EST, Seongwoo and Minhyun could honestly say that they were in regular contact everyday and to Seongwoo it filled him with false optimism, it feeling more like a long holiday rather than reality. During the preparatory period for Minhyun’s comeback, it became harder and harder for Seongwoo to contact Minhyun, both in the sense that Minhyun was too busy to pick up his phone and that Seongwoo didn’t really want to see Minhyun’s face when his cheeks had deflated and his eyebags had darkened and his spirit was low.

By the second week of the comeback Minhyun was unreachable. Seongwoo had no jobs at the time and was religiously watching every performance and broadcast, waiting for updates on fansigns and overall feeling more like a fan as if he didn’t know Minhyun at all. By the end of the week Seongwoo had had enough. He’d asked Minhyun to send his schedule a few weeks ago, foolishly thinking they’d be able to arrange some time together before realising after a quick scan of the document that that was not really going to be possible. However, as he lay in bed at midnight he realised that Minhyun should have just arrived back at his dorm from a schedule and he never went to bed straight away anyway. As this thought occurred to him, he found himself already collecting the necessary things and dashing into his car, driving towards Minhyun’s dorm. It was only when he parked up did he realise how rash he’d been, he didn’t even know if Minhyun was home. However, after a quick text to Jonghyun, whose attentiveness to his phone notifications was truly a blessing, Seongwoo was assured that Minhyun and himself were the only one’s home but warned him that Minhyun would be awful company at the moment. As if Seongwoo cared.

Seongwoo got through security with ease, having visited a few times and being publicly known anyway. Once he rang the buzzer it took a few minutes before the door opened, revealing a heavily fatigued looking Minhyun who looked like he could collapse there and then. Minhyun’s mouth formed an O-shape as he gasped, completely surprised to see Seongwoo there. Seongwoo’s plastered on smile to disguise his concern immediately dropped and Minhyun burst into tears, pulling Seongwoo’s body towards him in a tight embrace.

“W-why are you crying?” Seongwoo stuttered as he pulled the crying man closer and rubbed his back reassuringly, trying to ignore that that muscle Minhyun had worked to build up had melted away and that he was more boney feeling than Seongwoo felt comfortable with.

“M-missed you.” The first time Seongwoo had seen Minhyun cry was evidently a controlled, public-friendly cry whereas the one in front of him was an ugly child-like cry. Minhyun gasped for air every now and again and his body trembled with it, nose scrunching up and running slightly, remnants of unremoved makeup being washed down his face. Seongwoo brushed Minhyun’s hair out of his face, the ends slightly damp where they’d gotten in the way of teardrops.

“I know my face makes people feel sorry but you don’t have to cry about it.” Seongwoo joked, always trying to lighten the mood.

“You’re an idiot.” Minhyun chucked softly, still gasping for breath but his crying had subsided mostly. At least Seongwoo could say that he had gotten Minhyun to stop crying the one time he had.

“I’m not the one crying here.”

“Thank you. I needed this.” It wasn’t required for Minhyun to say more; ‘you’re my comfort’ was a sentiment that was always implied when they were together. Seongwoo took Minhyun’s hand and pulled him towards his bedroom, depositing him on the bed and swiftly constructing a duvet cocoon around the two of them.

“I love you.” Minhyun said, resting his head on Seongwoo’s shoulder and closing his eyes as Seongwoo played with his hair.

“I love you too.”

And so, Seongwoo failed his mission and it was his own fault.

**Author's Note:**

> Fluffier fluff has never been fluffed.  
> I hope you enjoyed this fluffy Onghwang journey and that I didn't depress you too much by mentioning dis****ment.  
> I intentionally left it ambiguous as to whether Onghwang are a romantic or platonic pairing and rather tried to focus on the dynamic of comfort that I personally feel Seongwoo and Minhyun mention a lot in relation to each other.


End file.
